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Cy Kology 
Supersalesman 

A Treatise on 
Cyentific Salesmanship 

By 

A. E. KULL 

>> 

Author of 


Not yet written 
(All Good Stuff) 

But will be as soon as publisher 
is found who will take a chance. 

Harlow Publishing Company 
Oklahoma City 
1931 










Copyright 1931 
By 

HARLOW PUBLISHING COMPANY 



SEP 25 1931 

©CIA 42664 


FOREWORD 


,If your telephone has been 4 4 temporarily discon¬ 
nected” or if your water supply has been cut off, or 
if any one of a thousand things have happened to 
you, you may be in a frame of mind where almost 
anything that offers a change would be welcome. If 
my analysis is sound, and if you are all 44 het” up 
over something, you will like this book. 

Even though you are happy, especially if you are 
a good natured happy-go-lucky type, you may be 
able to absorb its contents without a change of men¬ 
tal attitude towards Russia or the crime wave. 

That this book will till a long felt need, if there 
has been such a need, there can be no doubt. That 
it contains food for thought, if you have a taste for 
knick-knacks, is also quite evident, or should be. In 
fact, the modest author would suggest that anyone 
who has the price, buy one. Or better still, buy two 
and get even with somebody who has 4 4 done you 
dirt.” 


A. E. K. 



TABLE OF CONTENTS 


Page 

Preparation _ 1 

Psychology _ 5 

Personal Development_ 7 

Analyze Yonr Prospect_10 

The Approach__ __ 13 

The Follow Up_18 

Selling the Boss_20 

The Sales Manager___ 22 

Meeting the Big Buyer_24 

Appearing Before the Board_26 

Stool Sitters_— 29 

Life Insurance_^_32 

The Realtor_36 

The Automobile Salesman_39 

The Grocery Salesman_ 42 

The Barber Supply Salesman_46 

The Psychology Salesman_48 

Stepping on the Gas-51 

A Promising Young Man__53 

The Salesman As a Social Lion-55 

Hotel Conduct_58 

Riding the Pullmans- 61 

Closing _64 

The Expense Account_67 

Wine, Women & Singin’-69 

Your Associations -72 

Personal Appearance-75 

One More Thought—A Serious Thought-78 


































INTRODUCTION 
OF THE SUPERSALESMAN 


The first authentic record of a super-sale, is 
the story of Eve selling Adam on the apple idea. 
She wanted Adam to see her as she really was for 
up to that time Adam had taken but slight notice of 
her many charms. I am not so sure that there is 
anything to the story, but at any rate, the world is 
full of preachers who make their living by keeping 
their flocks sold on the idea that the world became 
very sinful about the time that Adam bit on the 
apple. 

Personally, I think it was a shabby trick to 
place that apple tree in the garden, knowing that 
Adam would bite if properly approached, and 
knowing too that the approach would be made prop¬ 
erly; but that is beside the question. The fact re¬ 
mains that a selling spree started at that time, and 
that the technique used by Eve is still quite effective. 
In fact I feel confident that if modern man—any 
modern man—were to find himself all alone on a 
South Sea island with just one woman, and she 
were fair to look upon, he would eat out of her 
hand almost anything that she suggested. The rea¬ 
son for telling, or rather for referring to the Eve 
sale, is that we might get started at the beginning 
of things. From Adam on, as it were. 

By this simple statement the rp*der should be 
xi 


Introduction 


xii 

thoroughly sold on the fundamental soundness of 
this undertaking. He should know that we know 
our stuff from A to Z and that A means Adam. He 
should realize the importance of reading this little 
volume several times and then reading it back¬ 
wards. Heading it backwards is really necessary 
because not so long ago a modernistic painting was 
hung up-side down by mistake and it won first prize. 


I 

PREPARATION 

If you have failed in other fields and still crave 
nourishment at regular intervals, you no doubt have 
decided to become a salesman through the simple 
formula of declaring yourself as such. So much so 
good, but there are ordeals in the offing that must 
be met and only by the most thorough preparation 
can this be accomplished. Preparation covers a 
multitude of sins and includes everything from be¬ 
ing able to guess the gender of a vicious dog to roll¬ 
ing a cigarette with your left hand. 

In order to give you the proper perspective, I 
am going to state a hypothetical case wherein you 
are one of the principal performers. You are a bar¬ 
ber and you have just sold a shampoo by telling a 
fellow his head was dirty. You become intoxicated 
by your successive successes in selling shampoos 
and look for new worlds to conquer. You decide to 
become a salesman—a traveling man, the kind of a 
traveling man that stories are told about—and while 
in this high state of mind you apply for your first 
job. You have just entered the office of the high- 
powered sales manager and made known your desire 
to ride the trains, sleep in Pullmans and tuck nap¬ 
kins under your collar while eating a two-dollar din¬ 
ner. The man at the desk has given you the up and 
(1) 


2 


Supers alesman 







































Supers alesman 


3 





























4 


Supersalesman 


down through the corner of his eye and then asks: 
“ Young man, can yon sell securities !’ ’ To which 
you reply something like this: *‘Can I sell secur¬ 
ities! Say, old dear, I can sell without securities; 
I am the boy who taught Chic how to Sale.” Then 
if the S. M. appears a little groggy, tell him that 
old one about selling ice to the Eskimos and blankets 
to the Hottentots. While he is trying to get his 
breath, roll a cigarette with your left hand, light it, 
take a few puffs and then lay it down on his ma¬ 
hogany desk, lighted end outwards. By the time it 
has burned to the edge and left its imprint, he will 
give your application consideration. At this point 
you may decide that he is the kind of man that you 
do not want to work for. There are sales managers 
who assist applicants out after an experience of this 
type. At any rate, you should be prepared to act 
promptly as it is more than likely that a crisis in 
your career has been reached. Survey the situation 
quickly and let your conscience be your guide. 


II 

PSYCHOLOGY 

Very few men understand all that they know 
about psychology. To become a supersalesman you 
must master this subject and then apply it no mat¬ 
ter what else happens. No matter how successful 
you have been in the past, how much money you 
have made, nor how many orders you have taken, 
you will never become really great until you break 
down and confess that you use psychology in the 
closing of every sale. 

Psychology should not be confused with physi¬ 
ology* genealogy, or astrology, though it is closely 
akin to bogeyology. 'Once you master it, you can 
apply it regularly without losing much business. 
Psychology is that inborn something that tells you 
that the fellow you are talking to knows less than 
you do; that tells you when it is safer to jump out 
of a window than to try the door; that tells you that 
it is better to listen than to wear a black eye. 

Aside from the favored few who have read this 
book, there are not many who know what it is all 
about. There is one other book (maybe two) writ¬ 
ten by a Dutchman named Freud that makes some 
attempts at unraveling this mystery. Freud handles 
the subject from a different angle entirely and ap- 

(5) 


6 


Supersalesman 


peals to sex instead of sales, making it necessary 
for traveling salesmen to buy a copy of each. 

Radio is also closely akin to psychology. Or, put¬ 
ting it another way; it is good psychology to broad¬ 
cast. Supersalesmen take full advantage of this 
fact and can always be found in the lobbies of county 
seat hotels exercising their loud speakers. They 
tell the cock-eyed world in no uncertain terms just 
how good they are; they settle matters of church 
and state and give you the lowdown on the latest 
faked tight. Now I ask you, gentle reader, that is, 
if you are still gentle, if all these things can be ac¬ 
complished by psychology, isn’t it worth while even 
though you never find out what it is all about? 


Ill 

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT 


The possibilities of personal development can best 
be illustrated by calling attention to Primo Camera. 
He was once a small boy. Mussolini took castor oil 
long before he tried it on the wops. So I might go 
on scanning the pages of history, finding that where 
one man developed an artistic temperament, another 
developed an appetite for home brew. Personal de¬ 
velopment has been the order of the day ever since 
the cave man dragged his mate to his cave, to the 



(7) 






8 


Supersalesman 



present superman who “dragged” her in his car. 
In Adam’s time, one conld sin by eating an apple, 
while now we have to make it into hard cider. 

Personal development is something that cannot 
be accomplished by hard work and application, it 
must be secured from mail-order courses or from 
some one who has taken such a course. How else 
would you learn that if you are short, you can wear 



























































































Supersalesman 


9 


a long face, and that if yon are short and fat you 
can wear a mustache, side burns, and a derby hat, 
and no one will ever notice your fat tummy! If you 
are tall, angling and ugly, you can go and split rails 
as Lincoln did, and if you have big teeth you can 
wield a big stick. If your nose is long, paint it red 
and folks will think you have money, and if you are 
bow-legged wear knickers. Eat yeast and play pre¬ 
mature golf, drink Dr. Pepper; hunt deer but never 
shoot craps. 

The purpose of this chapter is to give the reader 
a yearning for personal development and the better 
things of life, which yearning can be quenched by 
sending $8.00 to your favorite boot-legger and in¬ 
viting in your boy friends. 


IV 

ANALYZE YOUR PROSPECT 

There are four distinct types of buyers—(There 
may be a lot more)—the Bismarck type; the Ben 
Franklin; the Woman Intuition; and the Weather 
Vane type. These different types can be detected 
at a glance, that is, after you have read this book 
and are smart enough to know what to look for 
after reading it. 

We shall start with the Bismarck type. This 
bird is a stockily built fellow, or at least should be. 
He stomps his feet when he walks, has a deep bass 
voice and chews on an unlighted black cigar. If 
he wears a moustache it is like the bristles of a wild 
boar. Now of course, there are some Bismarck types 
who are small, sing tenor and have false teeth, but 
that is no fault of yours. 

The next important type is the Ben Franklin. 
Boy, fhis Franklin type is something different again. 
No stomping of feet or beating of drums with him. 
He is a thinker, and will be found with his head in 
his hands or on the desk. He may have curly hair 
but is more apt to be baldheaded. He may have 
been the fullback on the varsity team, but is more 
apt to have been the drawback. But no matter what 
else he is or may have been you always find him in 
deep thought with his head in his hands or on the 
desk as already explained. But it is not safe to put 
( 10 ) 


Supersalesman 


11 
























12 


Supersale sman 


a man down as a Franklin type just because he 
holds his head in his hands or has it placed on his 
desk. The fellow yon are analyzing may be a Bis- 
marcker who has been on a drunk, or a Woman In- 
tuitioner still groggy from a curtain lecture received 
the night before. 

So, in order to clear up the whole question of 
types, we shall next consider this woman-thing that 
runs home to ask the wife before making up his mind 
and then she makes it up and he never comes back. 
This, like the two preceding types, has many excep¬ 
tions. Take Jiggs for instance. When you meet 
him at Dinty Moore’s place, you say to yourself: 
“There is one he-man, a sure enough Bismarcker.” 
He is the big noise and the center of attraction until 
Maggie drops in and then he drops out. Andy Gump 
is a combination of Bismarck and the Weather Vane 
types, while Uncle Bim falls for the “ widders” and 
so I might go on and on giving examples of types 
and of mongrels without type, but enough has been 
said to prove the absolute importance of knowing 
your adenoids. But it is also necessary to be able 
to sub-divide types. For instance, if a man is caught 
eating Kosher meat, chances are that he is not a 
Kluxer, while if a prize fighter wears a black eye, 
he has a rotten manager. If a man wears a leather 
vest, supports two women and a bird dog, put him 
down as an oil man. ,It is a very interesting study. 


V 

THE APPROACH 

I dislike “Don’ts” but there comes a time when 
we must don’t do something, if you get what I mean. 
Not only do I dislike the word ‘‘don’t”, I dislike 
the way you have to shift gears in order to write it 



y ii fr. 


properly. So in order to convey the thought upper¬ 
most in my mind at this particular moment, I am 
( 13 ) 

























14 


Supersalesman 


going to use a more elegant form even though it 
will require a few more words. 

So here we go: Never approach a prospect on all 
fours. But why worry about the approach just yet? 
You may be lucky and find the buyer out, in which 
event you can leave your card and report to the 
house that Mr. Hardboil was out of the city. But 
you must take the bitter with the sweet and there 
will come a time when you will have to face the big 
stiff, so you must prepare yourself for the worst. 
For instance, you have learned that the big buyer is 
in, that he is seated at his desk and that you are at 
liberty to take a chance. Here is where the real 
skill comes in, here is where you show your class 
and the benefit of having devoured this classic. Of 
course, if the buyer should spy you hanging around 
the lobby, and should walk out and suggest to you 
that he is not quite ready to place his big annual 
order, but will be in a day or two, then you simply 
apologize to him for having been noticed and sneak 
out causing as little disturbance as possible. 

Now getting to the bitter doses that one must take. 
We will suppose that he did not spy you; that he is 
at his desk with ink bottles of convenient size within 
easy reach; that he has motioned you to come in as 
you stand in the door with your knees knocking. 
Boy, how you need me now! Read carefully because 
on your next few moves will depend much of your 


Supersalesman 


15 







































































































































































































































































































































16 


Supersalesman 


future success. First of all, note carefully all out¬ 
side openings and whether or not they are screened. 
Take into consideration the number of floors up, 
because the distance down equals about the same 
thing. After you have made this survey, and sur¬ 
veys are very necessary, you take one step forward, 
then stop and drop your sample cases and other be¬ 
longings in the doorway so that no one else can get 
in to disturb your interview. This detail taken care 
of, yon stand erect, brush your hair, fix your tie 
and make sure your pants are buttoned so that the 
man at the desk will or can see for himself that you 
are tidy and neat. This little chore attended to, 
you are ready to make your next advance. 

Keeping in mind always that no truly great gen¬ 
eral ever advanced without plans for a successful 
retreat—orderly if possible, you walk right up to 
the desk, and ask the fellow what his name is. It 
always makes a big hit with buyers to have some 
yap come in and ask him what his name is. He may 
tell you what his name is, some buyers are very 
considerate. If successful in getting his name, you 
might try to pump him a little more. Ask him if he 
really is the big boss, or whether he has to have his 
orders okehed by some one higher up. Such ques¬ 
tions are for the purpose of analyzing his character 
so that you will know what type of buyer he really 
is. If you can ask such questions for an hour or 


Supersalesman 


17 


more without having an inkwell sent in your direc¬ 
tion, chances are that you can wool him around all 
day and that his order will be turned dowm by the 
credit department even if you get it. Of course you 
are not to blame for bad credits. 

If it so happened that this bird was a Bismarck 
type; then it is more than likely that your prelim¬ 
inary survey of openings, distances, etc., stood you 
well in hand. 


VI 

THE FOLLOW UP 

Always follow up your leads, no matter where it 
leads you to. Sometimes it is smart to follow down 
as well as up. Not long ago I followed a fellow into 
his cellar and was well rewarded for my effort. But 
what we are talking about is the follow-up and not 


down, method. 



x like to be specific, to give concrete cases, as it 
were, in order to give the student something defi¬ 
nite.’ Boot-legging has of recent years become a 
highly specialized calling, and the brethren of this 
fraternity, (Greek) have developed a follow-up sys- 
( 18 ) 






























Supersalesman 


19 


torn that is a knock-out, or at least it was in my 
case. (I am all right now.) Case No. 1. Not long 
ago a bootlegger followed me up to the seventeenth 
floor, and while I was hanging up my coat and hat, 
he had locked the office door and was pouring pre¬ 
war. Hard times vanished like a morning dew, and 
while in a prosperous condition, I purchased to the 
extent of my available collateral. 

Hi-jackers follow up illicit lovers, and very few 
report their losses because of the explanations that 
become so necessary, and that are so hard to make 
the wife understand. Case No. 2. On second thought, 
I have decided not to give the details of this case. 
I dislike explanations, and you can’t tell, my wife 
might read this book, even though she professes not 
to be interested in salesmanship. 

The point that I want to make clear, is that in all 
of my experience, the two cases of follow-up just 
related, were the most successful. The details of 
Case No. 2, can be had by calling on the author in 
person. 


VII 

SELLING THE BOSS 


Selling the boss and keeping him sold, is an 
achievement that any salesman can well be prond of. 
But keeping him sold on yonrself while failing to 
sell his merchandise, boy, that is something to write 
home about. Advanced students of salesmanship 
will appreciate the difficulty of the task; they will 
understand also, that only by the use of psychology 
in large doses can the thing be put over. 

As in all cases of advanced selling, the first step 
is to analyze the boss. This detail out of the way, 
you proceed as follows regardless of the result of 
your analysis: Write him long letters every day 
marked “Personal” and write on both sides of the 
hotel stationery. This is done for the purpose of 
impressing him with the idea that you are trying to 
save money for the house. 

Write at considerable length about new prospects 
that you have dug out, what a wonderful impression 
you are making and that you will knock ’em cold 
on your next trip. And by all means don’t forget 
the weather. Weather reports are something that 
most sales managers dote on. Too hot, or too cold; 
too wet or too dry; rain, sleet, snow and blow, are 
words that add much to the luxury of reading daily 
reports. Never deny the boss the privilege of leam- 
( 20 ) 


Supersalesman 


21 



ing from you rather than from the weather bureau 
just what the weather has been. 


Another sure way of ^cementing the boss to you, 
is to tell him how you sing his praises on all occas¬ 
ions, and how you tell all the customers that you 
and he are just like brothers; you know how brothers 
are. Another thing. You want to impress him with 
the idea that you are a clean young man, so always 
charge up room with bath, no matter what sort of 
a tank town you stop at. Besides I have always con¬ 
tended that it is worth whatever you can knock¬ 
down if you have to stop over night in a bowl and 
pitcher house. 

Footnote: ^Cementing, as used in this chapter, 
means hardening. 







VIII 

THE SALES MANAGER 

The principal job of a sales manager, is to keep 
the big boss sold on the S. M. He should keep the 
B. B. well supplied with complimentary clippings, 
clippings that mention the aforesaid S. M. as being 
a live wire, business builder and go-getter. 

There are, of course, a few other duties, such as 
sticking tacks in a map showing where you have 
dealers. If you have no dealers, there should at 
least be tacks stuck in a map, showing the towns 
your traveling man or men have worked. These 
tacks can be arranged in various color schemes, 
which makes the map ornamental as well as useful, 
if any. A sales manager without tacks is what you 
would call a tactless sales manager. 

The S. M. should also write some very stinging 
letters to the salesmen, calling attention to the fact 
that the big boss was very much disappointed in the 
business, both as to volume, and quality of custom¬ 
ers. (A carbon copy of all such letters should be 
sent to the Big Boss’ desk.) In other words, a truly 
great sales manager is one who rides his men, and 
who rides ’em rough shod, and who keeps ’em in hot 
water all the time. 

The truly remarkable thing about sales managers, 
is that they score very high along the lines above 
( 22 ) 


Supersalesman 


23 



suggested, and need very little training. Of course, 
there are those whose letters are blunt, rather than 
stinging; crude rather than cruel. But on the whole 
their intentions are good, and besides they have a 
hard time of it. Just think of the banquets they 
have to attend and the speeches they have to listen 
to. 













































































IX 

MEETING THE BIG BUYER 

After making tank towns for a year or two, stop¬ 
ping at bowl and pitcher hotels, yon finally get your 
big chance—a chance to call on the big boys who 
play golf. From now on, instead of having the 
country grocer falling on yonr neck, yon take yonr 
place at the end of a hard bench in the outer office 
and wait yonr turn. About the time those who were 
ahead of yon have had their turn, some cronie calls 
the big buyer over the phone and this is what he 
says: “That yon Jim, Whythell ain’t ya out here 
to complete the foursome? Busy my foot, just tell 
them tender little things asettin’ on the bench that 
ya got a big ‘conflence’ on and be on yonr way. 
A’rite, we’ll wait for yon in the locker room. Ya, 
got everything, my favorite man from the creek was 
in an’ left a gallon. A’rite, we’ll wait.” The first 
week or two of this will be the worst. Soon yon 
will work up an acquaintance with the blonde at the 
information desk. Yon may find that she knows one 
of yonr boy friends or that she went to school, if 
any, with yonr sister or something. Well, yon are 
making progress. Within another week, she may 
get yon an appointment with the big boy himself in 
person, and then yon may be sorry that yon ever 
(24) 


Supersalesman 


25 


left the sticks. But be that as it may, the fact re¬ 
mains that you have bearded the lion in his den, 
even if you did get kicked out. On your next call, 
provided you have the courage to tackle him again, 
use psychology, keep in mind that he is a golf nut, 
and if you can’t sell him maybe he will go out and 
play you eighteen holes for a dollar a hole or some¬ 
thing. If he can trim you too easily, you will have 
to lay off selling for a w 7 hile and brush up on your 
golf. In order to apply your psychology you gen¬ 
erally have to be a good golf player, because such 
a large percentage of buyers are golf nuts. Should 
you develop into a good player yourself, you may 
get a job as a buyer and then all your troubles will 
be over and you won’t have to worry about Bis¬ 
marck buyers any more. You can forget your psy¬ 
chology and live a normal life. 


X 

APPEARING BEFORE THE BOARD 

Appearing before the board of directors, the 
school board, or the county commissioners, is some¬ 
thing every salesman should look forward to. The 
first thing necessary is to find out when they are 
going to meet. Arrange to come in just a little bit 
late so as to be noticed. If you get a chance to pre¬ 
sent your case, whatever it may be, and you may, 
talk long and loud and use your psychology. If 
there are five members on the board and you have 
found out from your survey, and you iftust always 
make a survey, that one is a golfer, another a fisher¬ 
man, another a baseball fan, another a fight fan, 
and the last a checker player, you should challenge 
each to a game of his own choice, and discourse at 
length on the merits of each. That is what is known 
as applied psychology and you have “did” your 
part. 

If it so happens, as is often the case, that some 
ignorant salesman who knows nothing about psy¬ 
chology, and who could not make a speech, nor even 
appreciate the one you made, a man who knows 
nothing about the various games mentioned, yes it 
often happens that such an ignoramus sneaks out 
the night before the meeting and gets the various 
( 26 ) 


Supersalesman 


27 



members of the board on the dotted line, and if 
that has happened to yon, it’s just too bad. Of 
conrse, yon did deliver—your speech, and the other 
fellow did do yon dirty, but what else could he do! 
He knew nothing of the finer points of salesmanship, 
nothing of psychology and its many ramifications. 
So after all, what could the poor fellow do but go 










































































28 


Supersalesman 


out and get J;he business while the more informed 
were preparing their line of attack. Had he waited 
for the meeting he too would have been a blowed- 
up sucker. 

From the foregoing you must not conclude that 
culture is the bunk and the ways of the crude get 
better results. On the other hand, you should thank 
your lucky stars that you are a man of parts, that 
you know your stuff, even though you did lose the 
sale. 


XI 

STOOL SITTERS 

Endurance flights, marathon dancers, and tree 
sitters, have nothing on the hoys and girls behind 
the counters. These poor creatures have to sit on 
their stools, chewing their wads, while wild women 
paw and claw their respective ways through piles 
of pink pajamas and other “week” end bargains. 
In their present untrained condition, these behind 
the counter folks, are required to make many jumps 
up or down from their stools, that would be wholly 
unnecessary if properly schooled. 

With an understanding of sales psychology, and 
a mail order course in personal analysis, under 
their respective belts, they would rarely have to 
leave their stools or miss a chaw. They could tell 
at a glance whether the woman looking at the Pinks 
was really hot or just luke warm. In case the latter 
was indicated they could ooze her on her way by 
simply saying that a big nigger woman bought a 
pair just like ’em. 

There would be times of course, when women 
would insist on buying something, or in having some 
article from the shelf brought out for their inspec¬ 
tion. Such instances would be rare, and the gum 
chewing stool sitters, could catch up on their True 
(29) 


30 


Stjpersalesman 






























































































































































Supersalesman 


31 


Story reading and go home at night not all “tarred” 
and worn ont. 

The science of selling from a stool, has been much 
neglected. It is not enough to suggest pinks to the 
puffy, and baby blues to the blondes, it is the manner 
of making the suggestion. If a woman is large and 
ugly, call her “honey” because she may be starving 
for a little affection. If she is thirty and still a 
Miss (Personal analysis stuff) call her “Kid” and 
if she has a man clinging to her, call him ‘ ‘ Daddy.* ’ 
Of course much depends on the grace and ease with 
which you handle such situations, as to how big it 
goes over. So in order to acquire a lot of practice 
and poise in the shortest possible time, I would sug¬ 
gest that you call all women who come to your coun¬ 
ter, either “honey” or “Kid” and all men “daddy.” 
Boys can be called “Sugar” or “Sweetie” depend¬ 
ing on age and whether or not they own, or have 
the use of a car.* 

Foot note: *This chapter has been directed large¬ 
ly at the female of the species. 


XII 

LIFE INSURANCE 

Weeping with the widows, is by no means all there 
is to life insurance. To be a first class insurance 
man, you must first of all be an explorer of parts — 
an investigator, as it were—one who can discover 
the Way of Least Resistance. Instead of tying into 
some hard-headed business man who might want to 
buy a $50,000 business policy, and who would ask 
a lot of fool questions about net cost and a lot of 
other bunk that really makes no difference to a dead 
man; look for a weak sister that you can roll for 
$1,000 contract, somebody that you can write by 
wearing him out. Another thing, the less the fellow 
has, the easier he is to sell, and volume is what you 
want—that is, a lot of applications. Still another 
angle. Fix it so that you will have a lot of big losses 
to talk about—applicants turned down. I know a 
fellow who really looks for candy kids, that is, Sugar 
Daddies who have too much sugar. You know, so 
much too much that even a sub-standard rate is re¬ 
jected by the medical department. This fellow can 
always talk about his big losses, and if we accept 
the theory that a fellow must have a lot before he 
can lose it, he is a great success; or has been. 

Another plan used by many life insurance com- 
(32) 


Supersalesman 


33 



parties is to encourage their agents to write 4 ‘one 
a week.” The point that the agent should keep in 
mind is not to write more than one a week. One pol¬ 
icy per week will pay room rent and eats and who 
should care for more? At least one room is enough. 
Besides if you would get in the habit of writing two 
or three a week, the sales manager, or sales director, 
would soon get the idea that business is coming too 
easy and that you are trying to make too much 


























34 


Supersalesman 


money, and he might want to cut down commissions 
or something. The big thing is to look for weak¬ 
lings, lungers and sugar daddies. They are easy to 
write, and every once in a while you are apt to slip 
one by. It’s worth something to show up the M. D. 
Getting fellows by who have been turned down by 
other companies should be your main stock in trade. 

There is so much to this life insurance racket that 
I hardly know what to leave out. But this I do 
know, never overlook an opportunity to argue the 
merits of your company with other life insurance 
men. Some men spend half of their time arguing 
with other life insurance men. That is what you 
call sticking up for your company. But remember, 
you must win your arguments, no matter how many 
sales you miss. Winning an argument and losing 
a sale is at least something accomplished. 

In order to more completely prove my points, I 
want to make a few comparisons that are as the 
lawyers say, “in point.” Look for “push overs,” 
fellows who fall easy, if not hard. Primo Camera 
was made a near champion by being fed on easy 
marks. So you can become a great producer by 
hunting “push overs.” Let the men who have to 
work all day, every day, tackle the hard ones. You 
know there are some men who become slaves to 
their business, men who get more kick out oF writing 
a big policy than they do out of fading a crap shoot- 


Supersalesman 


35 


er. Such men should be put down as ‘ £ single track 
minds ’ ’ because after all, we only get out of life 
what we put into it, and who wants to be a slave? 

A well rounded character, that is what we should 
strive for. 


xm 

THE REALTOR 

A few years ago there were no REALTORS. We 
had real estate dealers and real estate salesmen. 
But along comes the war, jazz and smoking women, 
and as a by-product of these we have realtors. The 
difference between a real estate dealer and a realtor, 
is that to become a realtor, and to remain in good 
standing in the national organization, you must be 
able to collect commissions from both ends of a deal 
without getting caught; whereas the real estate 
dealer doesn’t give a damn. The real estate dealer 
is not responsible to any national organization with 
high sounding code of ethics, so he simply takes his 
commissions where he finds them and lets it go at 
that, while the realtor must be able to cover his 
tracks. I felt that this explanation is due the young 
man who contemplates becoming a real estate sales¬ 
man. 

I would suggest too, that the aforementioned y. m. 
tackle a job with some plain, ordinary real estate 
firm first. After he gets onto the ropes and learns 
how to tie up a piece of property without buying it, 
after he learns how to get a low net price from the 
owner, and after he has learned how to sell it at 
twice the net price, he has but one other test to pass 
( 36 ) 


Supersalesman 


37 



before graduating into the realtor class—he must 
be able to go back to the original owner and work 
him for five per cent. Getting this last five per cent 
is the real test. 

There are so many brands of real estate and so 
many methods that seem to work, that it is needless 
to attempt to cover all of the various ramifications. 
The Dollar Down sub-divider has a nice little game, 
easy to work and quite profitable. While subdivis¬ 
ions never have been sold by the gallon, that may be 
the next important step. The dollar down fellow 
only needs a very few lots, and since the payment 














38 


Supersalesman 


is so very moderate, all he needs in the way of trans¬ 
portation, is a wall map showing the distance from 
the post office or the city hall. The same lots can 
be sold oyer and over again because sooner or later 
the buyer goes out to look at his future home-site. 

All that seems necessary is just a few suggestions 
to young men who are about to embark into this 
field. If you are showing a corner lot, never men¬ 
tion paving taxes. If you are asked as to the amount 
of taxes, simply say: “I can’t tell you the exact 
amount, but taxes are considered very low in this 
addition.” 


XIV 

THE AUTOMOBILE SALESMAN 


If you are to succeed in this highly competitive 
field, there are a few fundamentals absolutely es¬ 
sential. First of all you must make it known to 
your girl friends that you are driving a new car, 
with gas and oil furnished and that demonstrations 
will be in order. Then demonstrate your sales 
ability by selling the boss on the idea that you are a 
hard worker, that you do your best work at night, 
and that it will be necessary for you to take your 
demonstrator home with you. This accomplished 
you are all set for a good time the first week. 

Mingling with manicurists, wrinkle removers, and 
rounders, you are going to find many in need of 
better transportation. Most of them will own an 
equity (?) in a prehistoric chariot of some sort. 
All of which brings to you, your second big chance 
—a chance of selling the boss on the idea of paying 
off the balance due on the old wreck, and then taking 
it as a down payment on a new car. 

This accomplished, another opportunity for strut¬ 
ting your stuff awaits you. When the finance com¬ 
pany has turned down the credit because of the 
moral hazard and the lack of cash down payment, 
your first real opportunity for displaying your sales 
( 39 ) 


40 


Supersalesman 



ability has arrived. At this point you call the big 
boss to one side and tell him confidentially that the 
handsome hasher is going to marry an oil man who 
has just brought i^ a big gusher, or a barber whose 
rich uncle has died and left him a fortune, or some 
other equally interesting tale. Tell him that the 
whole thing will be paid just as soon as your cling¬ 
ing vine can drape herself around her soon to be 
husband’s bank roll. This accomplished you have 
proven yourself at least an average automobile 











Supersalesman 


41 


salesman, and by careful manipulation you can keep 
your demonstrator and drawing account for several 
weeks longer. 

For instance, when the first note comes due and 
the bride to be does not show up with the Jack, tell 
the boss that the wedding has been postponed but 
that you will personally see to it that the money is 
collected. This will get you by for another week or 
two. By that time you will have had time to visit 
all competitors and have told them what a whale of 
a business you are doing, but that the car is not 
standing up and that you are thinking of making a 
change. Tell every dealer that you talk to that you 
have a lot of good prospects that will buy whatever 
car you recommend. If you are reasonably clever 
with your line, some dealer will grab it, hook, bait, 
sinker and all. This accomplished you are all set 
for another six weeks or two months. The exper¬ 
ience you gained on your first job should stand you 
well in hand and make it comparatively easy for you 
to maintain yourself in a manner befitting your sta¬ 
tion in life. 

After you have exhausted the dealer supply in the 
town in which you are located, you can get a fine 
letter from any of your former employers if you 
make it known that you are leaving for greener 
fields. 


XV 

THE GROCERY SALESMAN 

Grocery salesmen, known to science as “ Prune 
Peddlers” are divided into two distinct classes, 
those who have read this hook, and those who have 
not. The former, or educated class, contains those 
who have ancestors, and who have had their ade¬ 
noids removed, while to the parties of the second 
part, belong that vast throng who do not know 
why u Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.” It is for the ben¬ 
efit of this second class that this chapter is written. 
Yes, for those hard working, misguided mortals who 
use their Fords for transportation, and who go 
home on Saturday nights. 

While Darwin never exactly came right out and 
claimed that the Prune Peddler supplied the miss¬ 
ing link, he did stress Natural Selection, which may, 
or may not be the reason for some men selling gro¬ 
ceries. But recent research does confirm the theory 
that so long as women seek alimony (and get it) 
there is going to be some demand for Vitamine D. 

Now then, since Darwin and Alfalfa Bill have 
agreed that eating is a habit likely to continue, and 
since groceries are supplied for that purpose, the 
prune peddler becomes a necessary evil that we must 
take into account. He becomes an institution as 
( 42 ) 


SUPERSALESMAU 


43 


regular as the tide only more so. As already inti¬ 
mated, it is for the uneducated, that this chapter 
is written, and chances are that those who cannot 
even read will profit most. 

In the year of 1776, or maybe it was 1896, Freud 
discovered sex and its relation to selling groceries 
and had dreams. He discovered that unless a man 
had sex, he had no appeal, and consequently 
couldn’t sell either prunes or peanuts. Adler and 
Jung made a lot of discoveries along about the same 
time, but they rather hold to the theory that bad 
dreams have nothing to do with the stock market or 
the price of prunes. But by combining the two 
theories, and since this is an age of great combi¬ 
nations, we find that dreams or no dreams, folks 
have to eat. 

With these finer points definitely out of the way, 
we now come to the point where it is desirable to 
do some psychoanalyzing, which also includes some 
fine points. Follow closely as we “psycho” our 
first subject. Behind the counters of most grocery 
stores there is a little secret book, into which the 
proprietor writes down from day to day, the inner¬ 
most secrets of his life. The book is marked “Want 
Book.” 

As soon as you get into a store where such a book 
is kept, keep your eyes peeled for its whereabouts. 
As soon as you get it located, watch for your chance. 


44 


Supersalesman 


Sooner or later you can catch, the boss off his guard 
and then you can slip behind the counter and take 
a peek into the book. Getting the contents of this 
book is the first and most necessary step in order 
to psychoanalyze your victim. 

Example : For instance you found that the book 
contained the following words: “Sugar, Yeast, 
Jars, Corn,” you are then ready to write down the 
test words and start a process of deductions. By 
following the simple rules, which will be supplied 
in my next book, you will come to the conclusion 
that the fellow is about to start on a fishing trip. 
The next steps are simple, so simple in fact that 
a college degree is hardly necessary. You simply 
walk up to the proprietor and say: “When are you 
going on that fishing trip, how long are you going 
to stay, and are you afraid of snakes ? ’ ’ 

If you happen to hit it right, which has been known 
to happen, you can spend the rest of the day swap¬ 
ping fish stories. What I mean is that if the fellow 
is a nut on fishing, he will talk fish till the cows 
come home. By staying right in there and pitching, 
you accomplish what is known in psychology, as 
“Riding his hobby.’’ You become great cronies, 
and as such you must be careful not to press bus¬ 
iness. Of course, it will be perfectly ethical for you 
to quote an “inside” on sugar or “Standard” corn, 
but lay off of “Fancy” brands in which the house 


Supersalesman 


45 


might have a profit. Always remember that you 
are buddies and that your psycho” proved cor¬ 
rect, and that nothing else matters. 


XVI 

THE BARBER SUPPLY SALESMAN 

If you would succeed in this field, chances are 
that you should take up bartering first, so that you 
can learn the lingo first hand and get it right. By 
being a barber first, shooting craps, and attending 
so-called prize fights you can get your picture in 
the Police Gazette as one of the leading sports of 
the profession. This accomplished you are sitting 
on top of the world. You can then dress up like a 
barter pole, get yourself a kit of samples and hit 
the highway. When you walk into a shop, show the 
man on the head chair who you really are, that you 
step high, wide and handsome, know all the latest 
stories about the traveling man. Be in no rush to 
leave the place, because if you stick around long 
enough they may run out of some concoction that 
is highly touted as a hair restorer. Of course, you 
haven’t got the same brand, but you do have a new 
one that will grow hair on a billiard ball, but you 
cannot guarantee results on harder substances. And 
don’t forget the “Farmer’s daughter.” 


(46) 


Supersalesman 


47 























































































































































































































































































XVII 

THE PSYCHOLOGY SALESMAN 

When business is dull, when yon have failed in 
legitimate fields, when yon have reached a point 
where yon would pawn yonr watch for a bottle of 
booze, don’t do it. There is always a fertile field if 
yon can act queer, carry a cane, and make yourself 
known as Doctor Iodiform, business builder extra¬ 
ordinary. If, at the start, you cannot afford an 
advance agent to sell your services, consisting of 
four lectures at $250.00 each, on “ Advanced Psy¬ 
chology,” put on a Prince Albert and sell yourself. 
But before you start out, read a few mail order ad¬ 
vertisements on how the office boy became general 
manager in six months so as to familiarize yourself 
with the lingo. 

After you have made a contract for your lectures, 
send to some mail order house for four of their very 
best lectures. If you are not adept at committing 
long lectures to memory, at least read them often 
enough to get the general drift. Then go out be¬ 
hind the barn, or down in the basement or some 
place where you can be alone with your God and 
practise until you can put plenty of guts and gusto 
/ into your lectures. Do not linger longer than nec¬ 
essary after you have delivered yourself of one of 
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Supersalesman 


49 











































50 


Supersalesman 


these masterpieces, but be on your way to the lead¬ 
ing hotel and refuse to see anybody. If one of your 
victims wants to see you, have the clerk inform the 
duped one that you are in a ‘ ‘ conflence ’ ’ with the 
president of the railroad or something. Be aloof, 
as it were, if you would succeed as a psychologist. 

The thing that will surprise you most is how easy 
it is to get by. Managers of big institutions will fall 
for your fables, and after you have taken their 
money away from them, the only thing that they can 
do is to give you a letter telling of the wonderful 
results, resulting from yonr lectures. Boy, it’s a 
cinch, and they all fall. But remember, you have to 
act queer and you have to learn a few words that 
you have not been in the habit of using. 

Now I want to explain the necessity for beating 
it for the hotel the minute you have finished your 
lecture. If you stick around and mingle with the 
mob, some sucker is apt to walk up and ask you: 
44 What do you mean by the reaction of the sub¬ 
conscious mind to psychic influences V 9 It’s better 
to be gone when such a thing happens or a fellow is 
apt to find himself in the middle of a helluva fix. 


XVIII 

STEPPING ON THE GAS 

Speed is the great thing in modern selling. A few 
hints on covering territory should not come amiss. 
If the company provides you with a car, the way 
to get a new one soon, is to step on the gas. For 
instance, if you have a fifty mile trip to make, make 
it in an hour flat, instead of two hours, and then 
spend that, extra hour telling the boys in the hotel 
lobby what a speed demon you are. If your com- 



( 51 ) 





52 


S UPERS ALE SM AN 


pany carries firm name or line of merchandise 
handled painted on the doors or side of yonr car, 
it may canse yon some trouble if yon are not careful. 
-Should yon, for instance, go out with the farmer’s 
daughter, or the manicurist from the hotel barber 
shop, and have car trouble, or run out of gas tem¬ 
porarily, or any one of the other things that so often 
happen to a car when out with a blonde, a name on 
the side of a car is not so hot. The company may 
object to the removal of the sign, as such things are 
supposed to have advertising value. So about the 
only safe and sane procedure, is to allow the car to 
get so dirty that no one can read the sign. Because 
as you well know, or at least should know, that is 
if you are any kind of a traveling man, there are 
times when you do not care to advertise. 

Now getting back to speed. The more speed the 
more cars you can wear out, and the more cars you 
wear out, the easier it will be for Henry to pay his 
income tax. But aside from all that, the element of 
time should never be overlooked. I knew a man, a 
traveling man, who was driving a new car and while 
nursing it along, as most factories say you should, 
that is 4 ‘Don’t drive above 35 MPH during the 
first 5000 miles,” yes, while he was trying to observe 
that fool rule, he forgot all about a “date” in his 
overnight town, and had to go to the show, or wher¬ 
ever he went, alone. 


XIX 

A PROMISING YOUNG MAN 

Once a young man who had just secured a road 
job, overheard the boss telling a friend that he had 
just hired a promising young man. Having thus 
been informed as to the estimate the boss put on 
him, he was determined to live up to his every expec- 



(53) 






54 


Supers alesman 


tation. He made good in a big way. He promised 
matrimony to the hashers, more time to the mer¬ 
chants, money back to the customers, and plenty of 
business to the house. He promised reductions in 
price, extra weight, free samples, full page ads and 
factory assistance. He promised to pay, to collect, 
to refund and refinance. And finally he promised 
to leave the country, commit suicide or marry the 
girl. Again he made good, and is now playing a 
harp or something. 


XX 

THE SALESMAN AS A SOCIAL LION 


When and if a salesman is invited to the home of 
a customer, for an evening of bridge, or perchance 
to trip the tango, he should by all means be the cen¬ 
ter of attraction—the life of the party as it were. 
He should flash his flask with a flourish that bespeaks 
skill of a high order. He should outbid everybody, 





























































56 


Supersalesman 


double and redouble with reckless abandon, if 
bridge is the order of the evening. If the dance has 
been adopted as entertainment, he should strut his 
stuff in a manner befitting a traveling man. 

But aside from his dancing and bidding, and now 
and then a drink, his really important function 
would be that of a conversationalist. No master 
what interesting experience anyone else relates, he 
should be prepared to go him one better. The same 
general conduct recommended in another chapter, 
as proper for hotel lobbies, holds good with equal 
force for social gatherings. 

I may be somewhat critical, but be that as it may, 
I always have contended, and still do, that salesmen 
who are invited out to social gatherings, should ob¬ 
serve the following rules to the letter: 1—Never 
leave until the last dog is dead. 2—Never leave 
without first telling of some more brilliant party 
that you have attended. 3—Never try to order your 
own cab. The host or hostess will look after that 
detail. It is also quite unnecessary to tell your host 
that you had a good time. In fact it might be much 
more appropriate for them to call on you the next 
morning for the purpose of making known to you 
what a wonderful time you did have. 

It is quite possible that this chapter is wholly un¬ 
necessary, for as I review in my mind the many 
social functions that I have attended, and which 


Supersalesman 


57 


were attended by traveling men, I am reminded that 
they have functioned very much along the lines out¬ 
lined above. In fact, they have been the lions of 
most such occasions; at least they have roared. 


XXI 

HOTEL CONDUCT 

Making proper “imprint” on lobby lizards in 
connty seat hotels, is by no means a small matter. 
Pitch, for many years a prime requisite on the ter¬ 
ritory, has become more or less passe. Contract 
requires brains and there is really no need of exert¬ 
ing oneself mentally, so that the next best bet is 
that of vocal exercise. By picking out a good loca¬ 
tion in the lobby (best chair if possible) then pitch¬ 
ing in a high tenor, you are ready to go. You can 
open up by making a sweeping statement as to pres¬ 
ent business conditions and then follow that up by 
making a few positive statements as to what the 
future has in store. Never waver when it comes to 
the future. On present conditions, or past history, 
you are always in danger of more or less successful 
contradictions of your statements. But when it 
comes to predicting what the future will bring, you 
need not take a back seat for anybody. You can tell 
’em who is going to be president and why. 

Shaking dice with the cigar girl and showing her 
all of your lodge emblems and lodge receipts is hot 
stuff. As long as you will shake dice and pay off, 
she will listen to your lingo and pretend that she 
likes it. Of course you care nothing about the cigar 
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Supersalesman 


59 
















































































































































































































































60 


Supersalesman 


girl, it is the aforementioned lobby lizards that yon 
want your message to reach. The careful pitching 
of your high tenor, therefore, becomes of the utmost 
importance. In other words, follow through. Oc¬ 
casionally some one who has been seated at a writing 
desk writing up his daily report, may look up and 
suggest that you hire a hall. To such you simply give 
a dirty look, or invite them out in the alley. Should 
they take kindly to the proposition, just keep right 
on shaking dice and let them do the broadcasting 
for a while. Sort of a fifty-fifty break, you know. 
Personally, I’d rather listen than wear a black eye, 
but of course I’m experienced—you do as you 
please. 


XXII 

RIDING THE PULLMANS 

Sooner or later you are going to ride the Pullmans 
and eat in the diner. In order to appear fully so¬ 
phisticated and all smarted up, do not yell at the 
porter if you catch him carrying off your shoes dur¬ 
ing the night—if they don’t fit he will bring ’em 
back before you get up. Your really big chance for 
display comes in the wash room of a morning. Get 
up early (chances are that you won’t sleep anyway) 



(61) 
























































62 


SlTPERSALESMAN 


and spread all of yonr toilet articles, taking as much 
space as possible. After yon have impressed all 
with yonr layont, try three or fonr razor blades be¬ 
fore yon finish shaving. Talk abont your beard be¬ 
ing tough, and that it takes three or fonr blades 
for one shave. Yon should also brush yonr teeth 
when riding the Pullmans, comb yonr hair for at 
least thirty minutes. Then unpack yonr grip, and 
take a good look at each of yonr three shirts, and. 
then while no one is watching, slip on the dirty one 
yon wore the day before. 

Crashing the diner door will be yonr next ad¬ 
venture, and will be an experience worth while. 
Much depends on your first diner breakfast. If yon 
charge up less than two dollars, the boss will worry 
abont you, fearing that yon were not feeling well, 
and if yon charge up more, he will keep you off the 
fast trains. So my advise, is: charge up two dol¬ 
lars for yonr first diner breakfast and try to get 
even some other way. Also, I might mention that 
yon should never try to do yonr own ordering, not 
for quite a while. Just tell “George’* to bring in 
a breakfast for a he-man with all trimmings. 

One great trouble with spreading your stuff on 
a train is that competition is generally very keen. 
If the cargo happens to be made up of New York 
Hebrews, yon just as well check out, because yon 
haven’t got a chance in the world. They will outdo 


SuPERSAItESMAN 


63 


you for finery, take more time shaving, talk in terms 
of stocks, bonds, and ladies ready-to-wear, until you 
will be covered with goose flesh. 


XXIII 

CLOSING 

There are some authorities who contend that the 
buyer should blow a whistle or something when he 
is ready to sign, so as to save the salesman the 
physical exertion of completing his highly polished 
oration. Personally, I have always contended that 
it is bad form and shows ill breeding on the part of 
the buyer, to interfere in any way with a salesman 
in full eruption. He should wait patiently until the 
salesman has fired both barrels and caught in the 
act of reloading and then he should say: “Pardon 
me, Mr. Hipower, please do not play the other side 
of that record, as I am getting a little nervous and 
prefer to sign now.” 

But as above intimated, there are buyers who are 
not so considerate. There are those who will stop 
a man in his tracks, so to speak, and ask for a pencil 
with which to sign the order. Disconcerting as that 
is, I never refuse outright to loan a man a pencil 
who really wants to sign, but I do try to work a 
compromise. As, for instance, if I have pencils to 
sell, I stop my spiel and show him some samples 
and quote prices. In this manner I can usually make 
him forget that he was ready to sign, and pretty 
soon he settles back in his chair and allows me to 
( 64 ) 


Supersalesman 


65 



finish. Sometime they go to sleep, in which event 
yon can finish np and slip out before they wake np. 

Of conrse, there are those who really get ngly and 
insist on signing right now. In snch cases there is 
only one thing to do and that is to allow them to sign 
and suffer the consequences of not hearing all you 
know. Then there are those who listen patiently 
for an hour or two and then intimate that they are 
not interested in your wares. They often use a little 
pet expression that runs something like this: “I 
have told you for the last time that I am not in the 





















66 


Supersalesman 


market for your merchandise, now get-to-hell-outa- 
here before I crown yon with this cuspidor.” In a 
case of this kind, closing the door behind yon is con¬ 
sidered a “Successful closing.” 


XXIV 

THE EXPENSE ACCOUNT 

It’s really too bad that the day of the horse and 
buggy is a thing of the past. In “them good old 
daze” when we traveled by caboose and hired a liv¬ 
ery team to take us to the next town, padding ex¬ 
pense accounts was a comparatively easy matter. 
Some houses required their travelers to send in re¬ 
ceipts for livery hire and other items that could not 
fc^e listed under hotel or railroad fare. Having to 
take a receipt made it easy for us to catch up on 
our pitch losses, because we could always get a liv¬ 
eryman to sign a blank receipt and then we could 
till in whatever we were short. The price of a game 
of pitch was “A hair cut and a shave” which in 
those days represented an outlay of 35c. 

With modern transportation, and with most con¬ 
cerns furnishing a car and allowing a certain price 
per mile, a traveler does well to break even. But 
there are still a few wrinkles that can be worked. 
A man can still ride the day coach and charge for 
a Pullman, and he can still get up too late for break¬ 
fast and charge up seventy-five cents. But as a 
whole it is a very difficult matter to lay up a cent. 
With boot-leg whisky setting a fellow back eight 
dollars per quart, whereas we used to get it for a 
( 67 ) 


68 


Supersalesman 


dollar and a half, and since one can no longer mingle 
in good society without a monogrammed flask on 
his hip, I say that the bird who breaks even has to 
Scotch it a lot. Besides, in the good old days we 
wore a celluloid collar and a trick front shirt that 
helped a heap in keeping down the laundry bills, 
if any. 

About the only suggestion that I can give you that 
will be of help in these hectic days of close checks 
and efficiency experts is to be collegiate and travel 
light. Just one more thought. I almost forget to 
mention tips. Your house will stand for about fifty 
cents per day in tips and there is really no need for 
tipping at all unless you want a date. 


XXV 

WINE, WOMEN & SINGIN’ 

Above all things, a salesman should be a regular 
‘ 4 heller’’ when it comes to the wooing of women, 
guzzling of hootch and of taking his regular place 
in the barbershop quartette. He should be able to 
take a drink and then let it alone, and then another 
and let it alone, and so on down the line. He should 
never get drunk in the first place. But if he gets 
slightly looped legged in the third or fourth place, 
he will still pass muster as one who handles his 
hootch as a salesman should. 

In selecting his women he should use the utmost 
care. Dishwashers and chamber maids should be 
well down on the list, giving places or preference 
to wrinkle removers and hashers. When starting 
for the country with a frill in his flivver, he should 
be low on gasoline and high on hootch. He should 
take all his spare change with him, so that in case 
he is hi-jacked he will not be beat up for being broke. 

The only thing left to consider now is that of 
music. Some one has said something about music 
soothing the breast of the beast. This being true, 
there should be a lot of music—songs. Songs of 
sentiment, such as “After the Ball is Over/’ “She 
May Have Seen Better Days,” “Her Mother Was a 
(69) 


70 


Supers ale sman 


























Supersalesman 


71 


Lady,” and “What the Hell do we Care.” If the 
hootch holds out, “Sweet Adeline” would of course 
be added to the repertoire. Care should be given the 
selection of a room or place for the holding of such 
concerts. On second thought, I am of the opinion 
that any hotel room is good enough, as there are 
guests on every floor who want to sleep. 


XXVI 

YOUR ASSOCIATIONS 

Every salesman needs an outlet for his surplus 
vocabulary. There are some things that a modern 
business man does not have time to listen to; so ir» 
order to provide an outlet that will absorb week¬ 
end accumulations, one should select a select coterie 
of congenial souls who will applaud a recount of 
your wild escapades while out on your territory. It 
requires tact and some money, as well as time, to 
acquire a hand-picked group that will meet all the 
demands of a supersalesman. 

No one can pick out your cronies for you, so the 
best that can be done is to outline a general plan 
that has been successful over a long period of years. 
Dance halls, pool halls, and barber shops are all fer¬ 
tile fields for exploration. There you will meet men 
and women who have less at stake than you have 
and who will look with favor on the fellow who 
carries corn and cigarettes. A moderate display of 
wealth, such as buying cokes for the crowd and tip¬ 
ping the soda jerk two-bits, makes a big hit. Two 
or three week-ends thus spent will bring hearty 
greetings when you enter. 

Soon you will be able to select from among the 
habitues a group that would go to hell for you or 
( 72 ) 


Supersalesman 


73 


—AN'TVl' BOSS SAVS*MftC,X 



with you, that is, so long as you have expense money 
in your pocket and a carefree attitude. They will 
listen in wide-eyed wonderment to your every tale 
of adventure, and most of them will believe that you 
actually got the big orders you say you did. The 
thrill of having a faithful few on whom to unload 
after a hectic week in the sticks cannot be over¬ 
stated. The fact of feeling that they believe what 
you say and seem to enjoy it —Oh Boy! 

Never pick your week-end associates from among 
the well-to-do or so-called cultured class. They will 





































74 


Supersalesman 


expect too much of you, would not laugh at your 
jokes nor believe your tales of adventure. They 
would lift their eyebrows when you wrapped your 
index finger around the spoon in your teacup and 
they never would get used to hearing you say 
“haven’t saw.” So stick to the gang that does not 
cramp your style; the gang that would divide your 
last nickel with you. 


XXVII 

PERSONAL APPEARANCE 

You should be tall and handsome, (I am going to 
write a book on how to grow tall) so handsome that 
the hash slingers on your territory, if you get one, 
would heave a sigh and gasp for breath and exclaim 
in ecstacy as you hit their tank town; “My Gawd, 
ain’t he the berries!” You should be dressed up 
like a “stud hoss” at the county fair, with your 
mane curled and your trick mustache trimmed a la 
Charlie. Your suit should be selected because of 
color rather than quality. Color is the thing and 
you can get a lot of it for $22.00. Your cigarette 
case should look like silver and your pocket flask 
should be of ample size. In other words, equip your¬ 
self like a Ford roadster, with windshield wiper, 
red tail lights, spare tires, rich mixture and your 
cut-out wide open. 

To cause commotion in a county seat nowadays 
requires a lot of IT, whatever that is, and you can’t 
make the grade in a seersucker suit. Stripes and 
checks are hot this year, at least the checks are. You 
should have both. It really requires a lot of thought 
and effort to become the kind of a salesman that 
stories are told about, and nothing less should sat¬ 
isfy. 


(75) 


76 


Supersalesman 



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BE HI5 OWN TWIN BROTHER—IF HE HAP ONE-) 























Supersalesman 


77 


The value of such preparation cannot be over¬ 
estimated. It gives you independence, poise, and 
power. Power to tell the salesmanager to go to hell 
if he stops your pay. Should such a thing happen, 
that is your pay stopped, resign. After having re¬ 
signed, open up your loud speaker and tell the cock¬ 
eyed world what a rotten concern you have been 
with, and elaborate on the fact that you quit ’em cold 
—left ’em flat on their back, or backs, so to speak, 
and that you are now considering four or five big 
offers. 

Here is a thought that should have appeared un¬ 
der ‘'Preparation” but I didn’t think of it in time, 
so rather than deprive you of this really important 
bit of training, I mention it now: You should be 
able to play Kelly pool like nobody’s business. 
Poker is no longer a standard requirement, but don’t 
neglect your craps. Craps develop a very pictur¬ 
esque language, and one should always lengthen and 
strengthen his vocabulary. For mouth exercise, 
craps is really and truly a wonderful thing. Come 
to think of it, I am glad that I forgot to slip this 
crap business into the chapter on preparation. The 
fact of the matter is that a red hot crap game does 
more to change a fellow’s appearance than a week’s 
preparation. Of course good crap shooters are born 
not made. Psychologists are agreed on that point. 


XXVIII 

ONE MORE THOUGHT— 

A SERIOUS THOUGHT 

This little volume was written after thirty-five 
years of struggle with sales and sales problems, 
salesmen and sales managers. It was written for 
the purpose of pointing out some of the slippery 
spots on which we all slip at times and now in this 
final chapter, I want to draw a little picture of the 
master salesman as he really is. 

HE IS HONEST. He is honest with himself, he 
gives the firm a full day of honest effort, and his 
customers swear by him because of that same char¬ 
acteristic. 

HE HAS COURAGE. He has courage to carry 
on. Not the kind of courage that carries a man 
over the top at the command of a superior officer, 
but the courage to go over without a command. The 
courage to carry on in the face of difficulties, and 
to carry on with a smile. 

HE IS A GENTLEMAN. The master salesman 
is a well informed, well behaved gentleman. Well 
dressed, clean shaven and wholesome in appear¬ 
ance. 

HE HAS INITIATIVE. He does not sit around 
waiting for something to turn up, he is busy turning 
(78) : 



Stjpersalesman" 


79 



things up. If his first attempt fails, he thinks ont 
a new attack and follows through. 

CAREFUL OF HIS ASSOCIATION. He is will¬ 
ing to he judged by his associates and they are proud 
of him. 

HE HAS ENTHUSIASM. His enthusiasm is not 
of the hot air variety that might be likened unto a 
toy balloon that flattens out when pricked by a 


















80 


Supersalesman 


pointed question. His enthusiasm is based on defi¬ 
nite information and builds up as each obstacle is 
overcome. 

NOTHING MYSTERIOUS. And finally, there is 
nothing at all strange or mysterious about him. He 
has no psychic powers, or supernatural ability. He 
is very human, has all the trials and tribulations to 
contend with that you and I have. He has bought 
bunk courses in character analysis and sales psy¬ 
chology looking for short cuts to success. But he 
finally has learned that there is no substitute for 
honest effort intelligently directed. He has applied 
horsq sense and more horse power, fought his way to 
the front ranks, while the seekers for psychic as¬ 
sistance were pussy-footing around trying to locate 
the buyer’s blind side. 








































































